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5 Speaking Traps That Make Smart People Look Insecure

· 2 min read
Irving Dinh

Today I learnt these from a Vinh Giang video, "5 Speaking Traps That Make Smart People Look Insecure". These are my key take aways:

  1. The delivery blindspot: 100% focused into "What to say", nothing on "How to say".
    1. Don't: If the idea is good enough, delivery shouldn't matter. The idea should speak for itself.
    2. Do: Splitting 50 for the "How to say", using add melody to your voice (vocal), using your facial express to tone your words (visual), and simplify your language (verbal).
  2. The imposter disclaimer:
    1. Don't disqualifying yourself even before you speak with these:
      1. I'm not the best person to answer this, but…
      2. This might be stupid, but…
      3. I haven't really thought this through, but…
    2. Do own the contribution without apologize for the existing with these:
      1. Here's my idea…
      2. Here's my perspective…
      3. The recommendation is…
  3. The content shield: Afraid of being wrong; Afraid of follow-up questions; Over-compensating for imposter syndrome;
    1. Don't overwhelm the people around you with information overload; don't create confusion, as you sound more defensive than confident.
    2. Do say the headline first; Then add detail to support your idea, only when asked for clarification.
  4. The micro check-loop:
    1. Don't use "Right?", "Yeah?", "Does that make sense?", "Do you know what I mean?" after every sentence.
    2. Do finish your sentence on a low pitch; Pause, let the point land; Then ask for clarity like this:
      1. Is that clear?
      2. Do you have any question?
      3. Would you like me to expand on any point?
  5. The disappearing syndrome: Happens when you start speaking confidently, but every moment you sense any disagreement or any resistant, you abandon your point immediately.
    1. Don't abandon your idea before it has a chance to stand. Maybe they don't disagree at all; Maybe they just confuse and need you to explain things more: Maybe they are just processing; Maybe they just about to sneeze.
    2. Do pause when you sense disagreement; Take a deep breath; Slow down your rate of speech and finish your point confidently; Use the anchor and invite technique, like:
      1. I believe this is the right direction for us, because …; And I'm open to hear your perspective, too.

Watch the video in full to understand deeply about those traps deeper reason, what those signal to others.